To all my mum’s out there who have gone through this painful yet rewarding experience, high fives all round! It is not easy to heal from physically and mentally let alone still having to be able to look after your newborn and yourself even possibly other kids too. I think we deserve nothing but the highest credit for the pains we endure as woman who go through the pain of labor whether natural or c-section. What amazing beings we are!
When did you realize just after birth, you are trying to heal but you have a million things running through your mind whilst doing the following:
- Side hustle (for c-section mums): means getting off the bed sideways and feeding sideways to avoid the operation lol)
- Feeding every 2-3 hours, am I a milk robot!
- Boobs are leaking 24/7 and having a constant battle to keep the breast pads in place all day!
- Changing diapers becomes the new pass time like you would not believe.
- Waking up 20 times a night, but still trying to fit in some series because you ‘think’ you have all the time in the world, but wake up the next day feeling so shit but so worth it because you feel a bit human.
- All this still whilst trying to look good, be a wife and everything else we need to be (exhausting I know).
Yet the love for our child remains, because as we do these things we may see as annoying ,they grow our emotional bond to our child because we learn to know what keeps them happy and content, where do you think the term “mothers know everything” comes from? We are literally blessed to know these little gifts from conception till the day we leave the earth.
Emotionally we struggle to cope with;
- Thoughts of having the responsibility of another life.
- Feeling a connection with your baby as you try to cope with the pain.
- Am I breastfeeding ok, is the baby getting enough milk?
- You feel you are not getting enough help.
- Does anyone understand what you are going through.
- Your stressed that you will not be a good enough parent.
- The thought of mortality that you didn’t have before, about yourself or those around you now that you have a a little one who is dependent on you.
- Wondering how it will be when you want to be intimate again.
Well this is not anything concerning, these are emotions all new mums will go through maybe not all but, there is always fears and anxiety that comes with having a new child. The only advice I can give out of experience is to talk about it. You are not weird, this is not a competition to see who the best mum is in your group, this is reality. If there is a mum out there who tells you she never experienced at least one of these things listed, well let’s say I beg to differ.
I hope there will be a time when mums can be supportive of each other’s experiences, all we really need is one person to be able to share our fears with other than our partners and I hope I can be that for any mum out there who is having a hard time, if need be. Support to me is critical for emotional healing after a c-section.
Physically we go through seeing our body change from a little loose skin here and there, boob fluctuation, stretch marks and post operation scarring. Possible dark under eye circles from sleepless nights and hair loss. Here are some tips I would like to share with you on overcoming these:
- Keep up good nutrition –your body loses a lot of nutrients, so keep a good diet and drink a lot of water. No one will blame you for post-par tum cravings too 😉
- Create a small exercise routine, even if you start taking short walks with baby. Your body and mind will benefit immensely from even 15 minutes outdoors.
- To help with tummy shrinkage – I literally lived in high wasted tights for weeks. Not the same ones obviously (laughs), get yourself a pair, life saving in helping your tummy to shrink.
- Try making a pamper day once a month, this will help as you get your ‘alone’ time.
- Last one but most beneficial I would want you to spend if not every day one day, to just lay in bed with your baby. Kiss, hug and talk to her, enjoy every part of her. This is you and this is the one person you love wrapped in one bundle. Remember that they love you through all your feels, even if you are not loving yourself at that moment.
This last point I mentioned will change your whole physical feeling, guaranteed! It took 9 months for your body to get to where it is, you carried a baby woman maybe two or three even! Give yourself a break, learn to love you and your flaws, we all have them, this is what will make you recover and keeps you recovering!
Before I end off, people tend to say that having a c section doesn’t allow you to feel the bond between your child and yourself! As a mother of three and having been through three c-sections I believe no matter natural or c-section, the bond with your child is there from the day you find out you are expecting and it just blooms when you hold your baby for the first time.
You are amazing and I respect all mums out there.