From a young age I was very driven and motivated to be the best. My parents were in top positions and made a great life for themselves and me. They always pushed me to be the best i could be. So from academics to sports, I always managed to keep myself in the top of each. I never thought that this would make me end up feeling so alone after i had my son.
When I met my partner we wanted the same things, to build our names and careers in our companies and be financially independant. We never saw the need to have any friends or keep company when it was not neccessary. I never truly had a friend I could call on for that advice, suppose i thought I was strong enough to deal with my emotions on my own and when my parents decided to relocate, that also left me to manage my life even more on my own to feet.
My son was born about four years later. It was definately not a planned pregnancy but we were confident and we had the capability to give him all he needed. Financialy stability had happened for us.
Till my maternity leave ended and I decided to go back to work. A feeling started coming over me that I will never forget. A loneliness, a pain in my heart even a longing. What was this I thought?
It was mom guilt in a sense but I also figured out that this little person had become my only ‘friend’. The one I spoke to in the morning and evening, the one who comforted me when i needed a cuddle, made me laugh.
This made me think that I had to put myself out there and make new ‘mom’ friends people who would maybe understand what I was going through and help me get through times when I needed that REAL FRIEND.
I started going to baby play groups with him a few times a week and oddly enough I ended up making the bestest friend I never knew I needed. A mom who I can laugh and cry with and it is the best decision I have made to get out of my own bubble and allow someone in. It is not always scary and I push any other lady who may be going through this to put yourself out there. Your friend may just be around the corner.